The story happened when I was young. I was young once. I have not always been such an old man.
I loved a girl when I was in university. She was stunning, she was smart, she was beautiful. This is what I remember now at least. I wanted to marry her, spend rest of my life with her. I would go against all world because of her. I tried even once. I will tell this one now.
Despite I was 24 she was 22, I wanted to marry her. However, I was poor, I had only one coat for the last 4 years, my trousers sewed I don’t know how many times, every 2 weeks I would glue my shoes because its front was opening like a crocodile mouth from walking university to home. I didn’t have anything but I wanted to marry her. I put together all my courage and went to her family to have their blessing. Of course, no one would give their daughter to such poor 24 years old guy. I was young and a bit courageous, I asked her, let’s run together, get married and come back to our studies, we can start a life together. She agreed. I was over the moon. I was going to marry my dream girl. I was going to spend rest of my life with her.
I bought 2 one way train tickets to my city. We were going to marry in my city, stay there for couple of days and eventually tell our parents. We agreed around 9am we both would be in front of the train station. I was shaking in the winter time with my small size coat. I was waiting for her to come since 8am. I was waiting and waiting and waiting. She didn’t show up. I don’t know if my hands were shaking from cold or from anger. I didn’t have any choice, I went to the university, and saw her sitting in her usual desk. I approached her, why didn’t you come? She said “I got scared and my family think you are not a good person, you would treat me badly”. I throw the tickets to her table and left the room.
I couldn’t break up with her. I couldn’t finish everything. I loved her, I was waiting that maybe right moment will come. Unfortunetaly after 2 months, the war started. I was the only one in the class who served in military before university, that is why they took me as a military doctor to send me to the war line. Everyone from the class was on the bus with me for sending me to the war. Maybe it was going to be the last time, they would see me. She approached me . I was hoping, she would say something that will make me fight to come back alive. However, what she told me, killed me before the enemy bullet hit my heart. She told me “I am breaking up with you, I don’t want to marry you , probably you will die in the war and I don’t want to be a widow.”. I immediately stopped the bus, run out. I wasn’t able to breathe. I was dead before the war. It was her last words to me, I never saw or talked to her after this.
It is more than 30 years now. I was walking in the street and saw my old classmate. He immediately recognized me. We talked for hours maybe. He proposed that let’s have a gathering with couple of classmates. I agreed. The next evening, we were all in the very fancy restaurant. Everyone was talking about their jobs, kids, partners. After 20 mins, she showed up. I didn’t know she would come too. My heart was pounding, I just said hi and turned my face away. She asked me about my wife and kids. As a response I also asked how is your husband, is everything good with kids?
She said “my husband died 15 years ago from heart attack.” At that moment, our eyes clicked and we both remembered what she told me 30 years ago. She didn’t want to be a widow.