Last Sunrise

I am naked, sitting in the snow, looking at the sunrise, the wind blows on my face.  I am cold, feeling the emptiness inside me, looking for death, it will come very soon. No more than 10 seconds. My fingers are already blue, I only feel Sun on my nose. I am so lucky… Sun rises at the exact time I wanted. Neither too early to save me from the cold or too late that I would die in the darkness. People always said that dying from freezing is one of the painless death. How would they know that??? They are all living. But yes! It is painless. I don’t feel anything, at the same time I feel that I am dying. It is very peaceful. Since I remember, it is the first time I am calm.

I slowly moved my eyes to the blood mixed snow. I cut my wrists before I decided to kill him. I don’t kill myself, I kill someone inside me. Otherwise, he was going to kill me before sunrise. I can not let him take this privilege from me. …Seeing my last Sunrise.

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