Part 1

I am a homeless. I wasn’t once. I had a roof, family, a job, a normal life. I wasn’t rich but I wasn’t starving as now. The last time I had was a half yogurt that I found after a kid left on the bench yesterday afternoon. I had a daughter, and a beautiful wife. We met in the university, she was a junior year and I was senior. Only one year left to finish with books and starting new life, successful career. I approached her I don’t know how many times but somehow she accepted my invitation once. After 5 years, we had a beautiful daughter. We were living in the 6th floor of the building and my 4 years fall from the balcony and after 2 month I found my wife hanging from the ceiling.

After 2 years, I was fired from my work. It was understandable, I wasn’t able to finish the simplest task, because all 2 years I was only seeing my daughter’s dead body in blood and my wife is hanging from the ceiling.

I wasn’t able to find any job, I wasn’t able to pay my rents and eventually I was kicked out of flat as well. All these years, I pushed everyone away from me, I didn’t have any door to knock.

End of spring, I found myself in the street, the first day I slept on the bench, it wasn’t so bad. There were mild wind was brushing my hair. It made me feel alive for a moment. I had some money in my pocket because I sold everything I had but wasn’t enough to live in the street more than 1 week. I tried to find a labor job. After all years, I was so weak that I wasn’t able to lift one brick. They told me to go after a week.

Life turned his face to the evil, but she smiled so well at the beginning.

No one accepted me for months, at least I was able to find some places to sleep. I was sleeping sometimes in train stations, or in unfinished buildings. Winter was almost here. My last chance was going to the homeless shelter or otherwise I would die in the 3rd week of winter. I was so weak and skinny that one single strong wind would make me fall. I spent 3 months in the shelter. It was more horrible than I would imagine. I don’t know how many times I was bitten there, or how many time people stole my food or peed on me while I am sleeping. I run from the shelter right after winter.

It was almost a year that I was officially a homeless. I was seeing people holding their noses passing after me. It felt almost comfortable to sleep on the ground or on the grass. I wouldn’t suggest you to sleep on the wet grass, or the next day you will have a bad kidney pain. Since I was wearing so many things on me, it was alright.

I didn’t think my past for months. I forgot my dead daughter and wife. I even stopped visiting them. All I wanted now, was toasted bread, jelly butter on it. I even would give my hat for it. Hat is a must in the street. If you don’t want to get hit by sun, hat is must.

Would you take my hat and buy me a toasted bread with butter on it? I asked from a well dressed lady. I saw tears were coming from her eyes. She called my name. I was surprised. I haven’t heard my name almost a year. It felt different

– Do I know you ma’m?

-Yes, you were sitting in front of me in the class

I tried so hard but I wasn’t able to remember her. She was sniffing her nose. I didn’t know because of my smell or she was crying. She gave me her hand to get me up. Nobody gave me a hand for years. I was all alone, I was falling and people were stepping over me. Now, a beautiful lady giving me a hand. I didn’t want to touch her with my dirty hands, I stood up.

– Would you please come with me? she said with very soft and elegant voice

She stopped crying and with a smile on her face showed me to come with her head. I didn’t know what to do. I tried so hard to remember her but all I was able to think was my empty stomach. I followed her, we didn’t talk at all on the way, I was trying to keep a distance because of the smell I was spreading around. After 20 mins of the walk , she invited me to her flat. My heart was beating. I haven’t seen home for years or I wasn’t able to see any place as home. Her place was small but smelling like a house.

She gave me a towel and some man clothes.

– I was going to throw them away, at least you can use them. Take a shower then we can talk.

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